Friday Funny

In honour of Opening Day being just around the corner!!

Courtesy of JRod:

Q: What do you do to an elephant with three balls?

A: Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

Speaking of the Block...

Thinking of the Chopping Block did remind me that I have one more post to make today (I know - three in one day, it's a record)!

Who the hell is voting for Sanjaya Malakar????

At his first audition I kinda got it, I mean he's young, has "Teeny Bopper" written all over him and he actually had an okay voice but after several long, agonizing weeks this guy has got to go. If any of you watched this week he decided to "rock it out" Rockstar style and I've got to say I wasn't impressed. And what was wrong with that little girl? Sanjaya brought her to tears with his stunning good looks, feminine hair-style and over-the-top performance. Maybe she was actually crying in agony, hoping and waiting for the end of the song to put her and the rest of us out of our misery.

At this point in time they could bring back red-haired, crooner-tootin', Johnny from season 3 and I would be thrilled. There seems to be a lot both good and bad being said about the Michael Jackson on crack wannabe but the link below might shed some light on why Sanjaya will be disappointing our ears for weeks to come (that and the fact that he has the "multicultural" vote this year - but we won't get into that).

www.votefortheworst.com

Chopping Block...Who's Next?

No, I'm not talking about the next Apprentice or Survivor...and no one is getting fired or being sent to Exile Island. But, it seems like the bloggers around me are being crossed off or entirely deleted daily.

I understand it with "Not Much of a Weblog". I mean, to think that B-Rock would actually have witty or deep thoughts to say on a regular basis would be asking a little much. It would actually be asking too much for him to comment on his every day happenings since we know that nothing really goes on in Fort McMurray except what Rob and himself do behind closed doors. But, for one who was just going to post random clips and videos it is a little suprising that he failed so early...I mean, he spends half of his time in the cold, dark North surfing eBaum's and YouTube - why not share the fun?

There are also the people that barely ever post and have actually begun to be crossed out from friend's blogs with no linkage to their sites available. People get busy and sometimes there aren't enough hours in the day to post and heaven forbid we would want someone to post just for the sake of posting. We are living in a harsh and cruel world and now that fellow bloggers have started turning on other bloggers, well, I just don't know what to think. Cheers to SnH for getting back on the horse, hopefully one day, you will be linked again.

I don't want to become one of the statistics. I am going to try my damnest to ensure that I post regularily and keep "life, thoughts and attitude" alive!! It may not be the best blog, the most insightful or the most witty but it's my blog and I'm damn proud of it!

Friday Funny

Thought of the day...

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

J.

Friday Fun (not "ny")

In honour of St. Patrick's Day and a shout out to old school Atari - this should help pass a few hours on St. Paddy's Eve!!

http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.bravozulu.com/About%5FUs/Fun%5Fn%5FGames/LepreKong%5F2/

Slàinte!

Amazing? Not so sure.

I'm not ashamed to call myself a reality junkie. I give all new shows a chance and have my usuals I watch every season like Survivor, The Apprentice, America's Next Top Model, Bachelor/Bachelorette, and The Amazing Race.

This year's race is anything but amazing...and frigin' all stars? If I have to hear Mirna and Shmirna yell at each other one more time just give me a gun so I can put myself out of my misery. Thank god the frat boys left when they did, I don't think I could handle that bald guy bitching about every little thing one second longer. Don't get me wrong I know it makes for great TV and I love the drama however, this past Sunday I was anything but impressed. How could my favourite reality couple go from first to last and actually be eliminated? Rob and Am-Ber had a bad leg, but geez, it should have been a non-elimination round. CBS will realize this after they see their neilsen ratings plummet next week but I will probably still be watching and bitching about Ramber not being on the race anymore. One question whichstill amazes me is "where are the hippies?"

Don't even get me started on The Apprentice - Donald is done, move on, give up. He should throw in the towel now before he finds himself living in a tent. I only watch it because it's so bad, this show gives marketers and the business world a bad rap. Hey, let's plan an event for a half-time show and let's make sure the story is too difficult to follow and let's definitely not align it with the company's brand...that will sure for land us back in the cold and rain...we'll show the Donald who's boss. Think again. It's so bad, it's good.

While I'm at it (and keep in mind I haven't seen this weeks episode) - where the hell did Tyra find this year's models? I feel like I'm in some strange twilight zone stuck between handicaps and just plain ugly people. Where do people like Jael and Kathleen come from? I mean, Kathleen - you're a hairdresser...try cutting your own bush every once and a while.

Okay, I could keep going on for hours and it won't get any prettier so I'll stop while I'm ahead.
J.

Slacker McJacker

I'm a slacker, I know it, but things have been busy around here! I will try to give a quick recap on the past week.

This past Friday we had the opportunity to watch the Brier in Hamilton. Two good teams were playing - Ontario and NFLD, Howard vs. Gushue. Dave's parents came down on Wednesday and had weekend passes to the curling with Denise and Chris. Lucky enough two people sitting next to them were unable to attend the Friday game so that's where we came along. Dave was watching it all week and needless to say the game we attended was probably the worst of the tournament. They were the two best teams and they did meet again in the final on Sunday but we went for the experience and it was definitely something different.

Sunday, Hunter came to visit and him and Dave spent the afternoon strolling downtown Toronto. They shopped, had some drinks, enjoyed a bit of Amsterdam at Roach-a-rama and then I met them downtown for some more drinks. Drinks turned into feeling pretty good and at 11pm when I dropped them off on the corner their night was just beginning! I don't really know what happened after that but with a beautiful day and the sun shining it couldn't have been anything but romantic!

This week flew by (as they all seem to be lately) and Wednesday night we headed to Ten to celebrate Dave's parents 37th anniversary. The meal was nice and the dessert sampler we had was to die for...I have to admit that I'm a sucker for anything with chunky monkey in it. After dinner we did the "exchange"... It's the first time the B's have stayed with us while visiting. They are with us until next Tuesday and then head back up to the cold cold north of Thunder Bay. So far so good.

We don't have many things planned. Maybe we'll take them for a tour of Scarborough and show them the best places to hang-out if you want to get caught in a gangbang. Or maybe we'll walk across the street and find out why they really call Toronto a melting pot. Then again, maybe we'll just take 'er easy and enjoy the comfort of our own home.

Cheers,
J.

Friday Funny

Howard a newfie, bayman, was walking home late at night and sees a woman in
the shadows. Twenty dollars..."she whispers. He'd never been with a hooker before, but
he decides, what the hell, it's only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes. They're going "at it" for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them . It's a police officer.

"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.

"I'm making love to my wife," Howard answers indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know.

"Well," Howard says, "neither did I, until you shined that light in her
face."

Friday...er, Saturday Funny!

I know, I know I missed the Friday Funny!

Courtesy of Dave...

Q: What is a politician's favourite colour?
A: Plaid

Yeah, yeah, I'll be back on track for next week's Friday Funny.

Workin' for the Weekend

I have never worked in a restaurant and I know many of you will have your opinions but I am just going to put it out there... If you are a waiter and serving is what you do full or part-time, why would you not try to give each customer the best experience possible in hopes of getting the best tip you can? I realize that some people are generally poor tippers no matter the service they receive and some people are always just a hassle to deal with but I like to think that we tip well and at a minimum at least the total tax of the bill.

Tonight was busy (yes I realize it's Saturday night) but when I go out for dinner I expect to receive service with a smile and to always have the glass half-full. To start everything was great and we even exchanged a few laughs...then the food came - nachos with extra, extra cheese hardly had any cheese, the medium-rare steak was anything but rare, the fajitas with BBQ sauce had no sauce and our glasses were empty for what seemed like forever. We finally waived down another waitress to grab us some drinks and sauce and while doing that we noticed our waitress watching. She then came over to ask if everything was alright and we said we were being taken care of. Later, she brought the dessert menu and then it was another good 10 minutes until we saw here again. It was actually the other waitress that took care of our bills... Needless to say, her slight attitude at the end of the night and the meal fiasco was a taste worth forgetting.

Our friend came up with a great idea one day and although I'm sure it would end with spit in our drinks and dandruff in our salad I think it would be a fun experiment. At each table there would be a "tip meter" - as you sat down you would set the tip at what would you are willing to pay at the end of the meal. Everytime something happens you can either raise or lower the meter depending on the experience - oh wait, my glass is empty, that's -$1.00 and my steak is cold, that's another $2 gone. Do you think it would make a difference? Would waiters put in that extra level of service to keep that tip up? I'd be interested to see what would happen (and a camera in the kitchen wouldn't hurt either!).

25 Minutes in Good, 2 Hours in Bad...

Winter Wonderland? I wouldn't say so...I actually don't know what I would call the weather the last little while. The other week it was snowing...no raining...no snowing and wait, there was thunder and lightning - when was the last time you witnessed that in the winter?

Yesterday was one of those days everyone dreads and some people will complain about for the next week or so...cars getting stuck, people getting stuck, not getting home from work until it was almost time to go to work again...the list goes on and on. People love to complain about winter in Canada and how they would rather be in sunny Florida or basking in the hot Caribbean sun. While I agree that it is nice to enjoy those vacations while everyone is left in misery at home I have to think that we have it pretty damn good. I mean do you really want to worry about tornados and hurricanes - meeting up with Katrina or Andrew wouldn't have been too pleasant. All in all I'd say we're pretty lucky that we get to enjoy a little bit of all seasons from the vibrant changing leaves in fall and beautiful white layers of snow in winter to blossoms of flowers in spring and hot days of beach volleyball in the summer.

That being said yesterday was truly brutal. I thought I came prepared with my winter jacket and mitts but I was obviously wrong considering I forgot my asian shades to keep the ice from pelleting my face and knee high rubbers to keep my legs dry. Getting to Pape Station was easy but walking up to catch the bus and seeing 200 people waiting for three bus lines that were at least two hours behind wasn't pretty. After standing about 20 minutes I decided to take the leap and start walking, thinking I might be able to hail a cab on the way. The wind was blowing, snow was falling, sidewalks were covered and the streets were quiet except for the cars crawling along. Taxi after taxi went by but never stopped and finally two buses went by jam packed - by this time I was thinking I should just head back to the office and get an early start on Friday. I finally made it to Overlea and Millwood and was able to hop on a bus for the 10 more minutes home. I don't know why I did - I was almost home and should have kept walking since the bus went so slow. But, it was nice to get out of the wind and get warm - luckily it wasn't -10 degrees (I actually had my jacket part way undone as I was walking).

Yes, this will be a day I talk about for the next little while, not because I want to complain but more because I think it was crazy and a good story. It also reminds me that I should have a decent pair of winter boots...I mean, it's not like we do live in California.