27 on the 27th...Cheers!

Another weekend has come and gone...

Friday was our friend Hunter's champagne birthday. He came to the big city in hopes of a night of dancing and drinking with good friends. I think he got more than what he bargained for. We started off the evening watching the T-Raps get demolished at our place...pussy shots and jello shooters being passed around and triple beam's being downed by the male folk. By 10pm we were headed downtown - first stop...Croc Rocks.

Yeah, I know - I was just there the Saturday before but it was the birthday boy's choice and we knew there wouldn't be a line-up so it was the perfect place for us. We had drinks, shots and more drinks and made our way to the upstairs patio to enjoy the evening. There was only 6 of us but we kept the bar going that night and when we got tossed out at 1am it was well worth it. While two of the group had to call it a night, the remaining four headed to another bar only to be rejected so we decided to toss in the towel and head back to the apartment. After a roller-coaster of a cab ride we finally made it...alive. Needless to say everyone enjoyed the porcelain throne that night...where ever they were (some much earlier and in more public places than others). Those nights don't happen too often anymore but it was fun and we were glad the "day-after" was Saturday and not Sunday.

We had tickets to the inaugural FC game Saturday afternoon but spent the day lying on the couch, eating crackers and watching TV. A great way to spend the day while recovering. Today we headed downtown again to watch the Jays beat the Rangers 7-3. It was a beautiful day to watch a ballgame and the dome was open for the first time!

Cheers!

Friday Funny

It was George, the mailman's, last day on the job after 35 years of delivering the mail through all kinds of weather. When he arrived at the first house on his route, the whole family came out, congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tiny gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the next house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he'd had enough, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this is just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?", "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that I wanted to do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, "Screw him. Give him a dollar.'"

"Breakfast was my idea."

Thank You Officer! Part 2

Like my "Thoughts in Cyberspace" friend the saga continues on my invalid moving violation from a few weeks ago.

I have visited the lovely government office twice now and have seemed to get nowhere. As you all know you have 15 days from the issue date to act on one of the three options. Given that the officer did not sign my ticket I decided to take part of Thursday morning off work to plead guilty with an explanation (which is what I was told in a previous conversation with one of those wonderfully helpful call centre workers earlier in the week). The receptionist at the office gave me two forms to fill out and told me I needed to come back 10 days after my infraction date which would be today... Since that is obviously the case and I am just an idiot for not reading the invisible print on the ticket I went back again this morning and took another few hours off work. This time I got through the first line with my ticket in hand waiting for my turn. The process suprisingly didn't take too long and soon enough I was finding out my next steps...I wasn't able to plead guilty because the Justice of the Peace doesn't have the right to withdraw tickets based on invalidity so I will be contacted with a court date in 3 to 6 months.

Okay, great. I'll wait my turn, take another few hours of work and go sit in the courtroom with however many other people only to come to the conclusion that the officer isn't going to show up. I mean he didn't sign it - we all know it's invalid and will be thrown out by the judge.

Yeah, I turned left when I wasn't supposed to but I'm a nurse and was in a rush because of an emergency call. Thanks for letting me off easy and thanks for the inconvenience jackass.

We Will, We Will...

...Rock You!!! and that they did! Last night myself and three other ladies enjoyed a great girl's night out on the town!

We started off for a great dinner at the Pickle Barrel and moved down the street to the Canon Theatre to see "We Will Rock You". What a fantastic show!! If you haven't seen it yet I highly recommend it. If you love Queen it doesn't get much better than this but even if you don't I can't believe you wouldn't find yourself keeping beat to the music or singing along to a few of their most popular tracks. Just like Abba with Mamma Mia, it's hard to believe that these songs weren't writting specifically for this play. It has a fantastic cast from Galileo and Scaramouche to Killer Queen, Oz and Britney...ok, you'll have to go to get the story on that!

Not only am I a fan of musicals in general but I do enjoy a little Queen and I love the reality show Rockstar. I won't get into specifics but Suzie McNeil from the reailty show Rockstar: INXS plays Oz in this production. It was interesting to see a true-blue rocker chick with not really any theatre experience take to the stage - and she passes with flying colours.

After the show we headed west to hear the most popular tracks from the 80's and 90's at cougar-haven Croc Rocks. Kind of a weird choice for three ladies to go by their lonesome but the price was right and the music kept us rocking until the wee hours of the morning.

Rock on.

Life, Death and...Taxes

As I was lying awake last night in bed listening to the heavy breathing of the person beside me...ok, time-out folks, I know what you were thinking and this a PG rated blog (I think!). Let's try this again...

As I was lying awake in bed last night I started thinking about the taxes I was attempting to complete on a Friday night until 3am. It's my first time doing it solo and what a good time to do it with our new business and everything thrown into the mix. There are so many things to know and after endless hours searching the web I came up with not a lot of answers. I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty details as I'm sure we all have our own lovely tax stories but I do have one question to ask:

Why, when you have been super busy and feeling tired and had been awake for 18 hours are you not able to sleep in? It's 8:30am and I have been lying awake since just after 7. I have no reason to get up early and generally wouldn't think that I would sleep-in past 10am but let's be honest...I looked at an un-solid 4 hours of sleep last night. And that sucks.

I have a busy night ahead of me, a few of the girls are heading downtown late this afternoon for a dinner before the show We Will Rock You, and then we are heading over to a neighbourhood bar for a few drinks and some dancing. I should curl up on the couch with a blanket, put on the first disc of Titanic and have a long and deserved nap. But, why am I kidding myself? I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Friday Funny

A very loud, unattractive and mean woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart greeter says "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say "Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

"I'm neither blind nor stupid," replied the greeter, "I just didn't want to believe you got laid, twice."

Thank-You Officer!

Saturday morning was a funny morning...

For D's birthday I had his baseball glove re-stitched from a place at in the West end. I had to pick it up Saturday morning and asked "Edward" if she wanted to come with...she wasn't going to come because she had to start setting up for a surprise 30th birthday party for Fernando at 3pm but decided to come for the ride.

I couldn't remember what corner it was on so we ended up going the wrong way and I needed to turn left...there was a streetcar blocking the street up-ahead and a car turning left infront of us. A sign posted said "No left turns 7am-7pm Monday to Saturday" but with the streetcar in the way and others turning left I went for it. Just my luck we got pulled over with three other cars. Sitting there waiting, Edward and I discussed what I should say but I never got the chance...there was no pleading my case this time. He came up to my window and asked "What does your license plate stand for?" I said "It's a nickname from my last name" and he said "That's too bad" and walked away. Several minutes later he came back and handed me that dreaded yellow paper but he also said "Make sure you read this over really carefully!" - knowing what this meant I said thanks and rolled up the window. Lo and behold, there was no signature - thanks to stunning good looks and innocent personality, I was scott-free.

We were going to drive down the street to finally pick up the glove so I started up Calvin and sure enough...the battery is dead!! How could this possibly happen all at once?!! Luckily, Edward has CAA - she has only used it twice and both times were with me and for me! We went to pay the Green P and told the officer what had happened - he pulled us down the sidewalk and said "This is wrong and I shouldn't do this but because of your license plate I thought you were a nurse." So...it wasn't our good looks afterall, but I'll take what I can get.

How could this morning get anymore stranger? How about walking to the repair shop and seeing J-Rod and his new lady across the street?! She lives in the area and they were heading to breakfast. I was excited to finally meet her...and no, it wasn't the best circumstances (ex-girlfriend Edward meets new girlfriend) but the officer and battery was a funny story to break the ice and they are super cute together!

It could have been an expensive morning - $110 for a moving violation, $150 for a replacement battery, $30 for repaired glove but it turned out to be a-ok ($110 less okay!). Wish me luck when I go to plead guilty and fight the system!

Social Butterflies...

This past week and weekend was another busy one...when does it ever slow down? It's times like these where I think I would be more than contempt living on an island, relaxing the days away without any cares...but then I wake up to reality and realize that I have to put in another 8 quality hours at work...the same trend that I have succumbed to that will last more than half my precious life on earth. So maybe we aren't the world's biggest social butterflies but we have been getting out there and making the rounds...update below!

Monday we were at the Home Opener for the Jays - we rocked KC 9-1 and witnessed what is sure to be the beginning of a great season. Thursday, we were back at the ballpark to see Detroit beat our Jays...but, not by much. I'm sure some of you have your doubts this year but I expect a season full of excitement, big bats and solid D. So what if Reed Johnson is out until July, Troy and BJ are on the 15-Day DL and our big gun's ain't big?!! Now's the time for our team to pull it together and win for those who can't.

Friday we spent the night in a box at the Raptors game. We enjoyed great food and good company as we watched the T-Raps take it to the Detriot Pistons - a nail-biter all the way to the end. D and I aren't huge b-ball fans but we were lucky to spend the game with someone who is and he called the shots pretty precisily. Yeah, yeah, Detroit didn't play any of their starters past the 1st quarter but we won and it was hot!

Saturday night was our Wii Birthday Party and fun was had by all. The drinks were flowing, Arnie was being difficult (he kept comin' back), and well, Wii Sports ruled the night. We didn't play enough for any serious injuries but a few tight boxing matches got people sweatin'! We were introduced to the new Cory family member and shared in shots of pussy all night. Sunday the curlers, as they will now be called (C&D) came over and took us to Boston Pizza - always a family fav! A nice visit was had by all.

Thanks to all who shared in our fun-filled week and thanks to all for making the Wii party a ton of fun (and for all of the fantastic Wii hardware, undies and strike glasses)!!

Cheers,
J.

Friday Funny

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender,"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:

1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 foot tall, 160 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke? The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares...

"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Take Me Out..

...to the Ballgame!! It's that time of year again, spring has sprung...winter came back and well, the Blue Jays have returned home. I'm not talking about the ones that fly south for the winter only to return to wake us up outside our cottage windows at 7am or the ones that try to disguise themselves in the trees. I'm talking about the Toronto Blue Jays - the team that finished second in their division for the first time since the mid-90's.

D and I are avid fans and have been looking forward to this season for quite some time. After a great finish last year in what is probably the most difficult division, we have great hopes for this year. We've gotten rid of a few losers and picked up some big guns like Frankie T and Royce C.
It's probably a little early to be wishing for play-offs but with a young team with a lot of talent how can we not reach for gold! We have a killer offense (and defense) starting off with our main man Reed, great pitching (okay, the verdict is still out on this), and a solid bench - what more could a team ask for? Probably a few more humdingers and strike-outs but those will come.

There's a lot of season left and D and I plan to be there to watch the magic happen. Sure it helps that Teddy gets me a wee discount but hey...we'd be there no matter what, just sitting in the boondocks rather than the comfy VIP.

Killer Line-Up:
Reed Johnson - Led the team with high average last year
Lyle Overbay - The big "O" - clutch
Vernon Wells - Golden Glove Winner for the 3rd time (in a row)
Frank Thomas - The "Big Hurt" - can he do it again?
Troy Glaus - Spotlight off, game on
Alex Rios - No injuries = All-Star
Aaron Hill - Young and in-charge - Roberto Alomar, eat my dust
Gregg Zaun - Finally #1 catcher...if he wasn't good would there be "Zaun-nation"?
Royce Clayton - Oldie but a goodie

I definitely wouldn't end this post without mentioning the Doc or BJ...but that's enough said! See you at the ballpark!

GO JAYS GO!

Come and Gone...

Another Easter, another tournament and another birthday have come and gone in a flash.

To start Easter wasn't really Easter. After being in Hammertown since Wednesday all I wanted to do was get home on Sunday, lounge around and sleep all afternoon to the Masters (which I absolutely did). However, it would have been nice to get together with the family for a wonderful dinner and a nice visit. That's why I always liked being in school...having the Monday off as well made a world of difference. Peter Cottontail didn't visit but I'm sure that's a good thing...I can never resist a chocolate bunny, jelly belly or cream-filled egg.

The tournament wasn't a great success either...we had fun but again, didn't win. At the banquet we always find ourselves talking about next year and who should be on the team. Seeing that you have to qualify it is a little difficult to try to finish in a certain position but we'll see how it goes...a team of all-stars doesn't necessarily guarantee a win either. In my opinoin, it would actually make losing that much worse. I look at it this way - who would want to go to Sudbury of all places for Nationals?...Sudbury is for losers. Next year they're in Hamilton - that's not much better but at least we would get regional support and that would be fun.

At last, my birthday was on Friday...it was definitely overshadowed by the tournament and it put a damper on the festivities being losers but a bunch of us did fo for dinner at The Keg and that was delicious. I just don't seem to get too excited about birthdays...probably because they were never a big celebration in my family and probably because out of seven people in my immediate family six of us are in April which means we only have one party and one cake to celebrate everyone's together. Ah, it's all good - another year older, another year wiser...at least I'm still young at heart.

Friday Funny

Yeah, yeah...it's not Friday but as you know I won't be around and I didn't want to disappoint my loyal readers. I got this emailed to me at work today and I had a good laugh... Keith Richard's has always been a little strange and he looks like the walking dead...I wonder if the below has anything to do with that.

Keith Richards: 'I snorted my father'
Associated Press Posted April 4 2007, 8:20 AM EDT

LONDON -- Keith Richards has acknowledged consuming a raft of illegal substances in his time, but this may top them all. In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist said he had snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine."The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father," Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Cheers to having Friday off!

There Goes Peter Cottontail...to Hamilton

This Easter, like every Easter for the past 9 years I am on my way to Hammertown tonight. I'm in a big tournament that will go until Sunday. My team has a great shot to make it to Nationals this year and what could be better than going all the way to the Big Nickel...Sudbury?!!

It's always a great time and the competition is stiff - Southern Ontario is always the hardest region to qualify out of. D will come down Friday to watch and stay for the weekend. Hopefully we will give him something to cheer for. He's not really one to watch regular league play or to come to other tournaments - but this one is in a league of it's own. For some and those that don't play it can be a surreal experience... A few years ago D's parents came to watch and were able to witness a perfect 450 - when it comes down to the end everyone stopped what they were doing and started chanting "Terry, Terry..." It's a nerveracking experience without 500+ people staring...and some people don't ever get to witness perfection.

I'm staying with Linds again and luckily we are not direct competitors as I made women's and she's on the mixed. It's probably better that way since I wouldn't want her to have an accident in the room where she might injure herself. Maybe next year we will get the chance to cheer for the same region...now that would be fun.

I'm a little disappointed that we won't be doing Easter this year with the fam but we've been so busy and I know on Sunday we'll just want to relax and sleep to the Masters Final Round. The Easter Bunny will have to just leave his eggs and carry-on his merry way. At least we won't be sacrificing another Tom Turkey this spring...

Home Sweet Home...

It's been a while since my last post and it isn't because I've been lazy or can't think of anything to write about...well, maybe that is the reason but we have been busy.

This past weekend we were in London and was probably the last time in my childhood home. My parents are moving at the end of the month...a long over due move in my opinion but at least it's really happening. As D and I were pulling out of the driveway Sunday morning I didn't even think to say goodbye...then half way to the Loo I remembered that was it. I'm not sure what I would have done - maybe took one last good look at everything, trying to remember everything as it was. We all have a lot of memories of where we grew up like "first times" and holidays, visiting with friends and family and parties etc. I started thinking about the smaller things, the unsequential moments I remember that have always stuck with me (below are just a few):

• Running around the dining room table at bedtime with a blanket in my hand and my thumb in my mouth because I didn't want to go to sleep - giggling as my parents would give up on the charade and finally corner me
• My dad pumping the vinyls on our awesomely loud stereo system - sitting in the rec room just listening to the sounds of Star Wars, Beethoven and rock classics like Supertramp and Cream.
• Hanging upside down on our rusty swing set when I was about 12 and getting a large piece of rust in my eye - crying while my dad used the tweezers to remove it.
• Like Dawson, often we would walk to the creek...enjoy the scenery and on the way home stop for a popsicle at the local variety store.
• The "cat-astrophe" when I was in my early 20's (we won't get into that) but it is definitely a great story for another time.

One day in the future I'll drive by but I won't go up to a window or stroll through the backyard. I want to remember home the way it was, the vision I have in my mind. I can only hope that the new children that grow up there have as great a time as I did.

Home will always be where your family is...and that can take you many places. Home is in the Loo, and at grandma's, Toronto, and now in Thunder Bay. D and I have made a place for ourselves and although it might not be big or extravagant and eventhough we don't own it, it's still ours and it is definitely still home sweet home.